Let’s talk about “regression.”
I dislike this word very much and avoid it as much as possible. (Yucky) The reason I don’t like the word “regression” because it’s a cop- out. It’s being able to use that word so you can give up and have an excuse to not have to work hard anymore to change things.
It’s kind of like when you try a new diet or work out program, you work hard for a few days or a month, then a holiday/ weekend comes along and everything goes down the drain. We blame it on the holiday/weekend for regressing.
This term is often thrown around a lot in the parenting world whenever little humans are no longer doing the thing you’ve gotten so used to them doing. Whether it be with food choices, nursing, toilet training, attitude.
So what do I do instead? Well I’ve recalibrated my mindset to think of the word “consistency” when striving for success. Rather than then the word “regression” which denotes failure.
I apply this to all new skills, habits and trends- when I’m introducing them- I begin with a mindset that this is something I plan to do indefinitely. I don’t set long term goals of what I HAVE to achieve by X time. (Ex. I would avoid saying “I’m going to Lose 10 lbs by spring” instead I say “I’m going to exercise 5minutes a day. Period.”)
Before you know it… the weight loss will come because you changed your mindset to accepting the 5min a day, is not just a part of regular routine. A way of life.
Now, how this applies to toilet training is that there’s always a point in toilet training where I get a lot of parents coming to me in a panic about “regression.” Parents come to me saying their humans are “regressing”, they used to go pee/ poo X many times a day on the toilet and now it’s been x many days since they haven’t.
Stop counting the “catches” and just continue to be consistent. The last couple weeks I’ve only “caught” a handful of poops in the toilet but it doesn’t phase me. I don’t blame it on “regression” or voodoo. It doesn’t and shouldn’t affect how successful I feel. Instead I take it as an opportunity to observe him better and take him more often or find a better suited time to take him. I adjust a little but still maintain consistency.
I teach people that instead of looking at each moment as a sign of success or failure you accept that this is just a part of your everyday routine. I mean if I personally miss pee or poo myself, I’m not going to run around blaming it on regression – so why do have that standard for our little humans?
Things change in life, the weather, our hormones, our activity level but if we use every change to dictate our ability to succeed then we will never succeed.
When I teach consistency, regardless of whether your human is successful going into the toilet every day or every time, the success is measured by your ability to be consistent in giving them the same amount opportunities every day- indefinitely.
Just like exercising- you’re not going to see results in day, in a week, even in months, you probably will even fluctuate with your weight and body size and “regress”, (ugh gross word) but if you consistently put in a little bit of time…. everyday then OVER time you WILL see results and THAT is success.
Change your mindset. Success = consistency. Not only in toilet training but in life. #melbamethod
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