Infant Regression. Change Your Mindset.

Let’s talk about “regression.”

I dislike this word very much and avoid it as much as possible. (Yucky) The reason I don’t like the word “regression” because it’s a cop- out. It’s being able to use that word so you can give up and have an excuse to not have to work hard anymore to change things.

It’s kind of like when you try a new diet or work out program, you work hard for a few days or a month, then a holiday/ weekend comes along and everything goes down the drain. We blame it on the holiday/weekend for regressing.

This term is often thrown around a lot in the parenting world whenever little humans are no longer doing the thing you’ve gotten so used to them doing. Whether it be with food choices, nursing, toilet training, attitude.

So what do I do instead? Well I’ve recalibrated my mindset to think of the word “consistency” when striving for success. Rather than then the word “regression” which denotes failure.

I apply this to all new skills, habits and trends- when I’m introducing them- I begin with a mindset that this is something I plan to do indefinitely. I don’t set long term goals of what I HAVE to achieve by X time. (Ex. I would avoid saying “I’m going to Lose 10 lbs by spring” instead I say “I’m going to exercise 5minutes a day. Period.”)

Before you know it… the weight loss will come because you changed your mindset to accepting the 5min a day, is not just a part of regular routine. A way of life.

Now, how this applies to toilet training is that there’s always a point in toilet training where I get a lot of parents coming to me in a panic about “regression.” Parents come to me saying their humans are “regressing”, they used to go pee/ poo X many times a day on the toilet and now it’s been x many days since they haven’t.

Stop counting the “catches” and just continue to be consistent. The last couple weeks I’ve only “caught” a handful of poops in the toilet but it doesn’t phase me. I don’t blame it on “regression” or voodoo. It doesn’t and shouldn’t affect how successful I feel. Instead I take it as an opportunity to observe him better and take him more often or find a better suited time to take him. I adjust a little but still maintain consistency.

I teach people that instead of looking at each moment as a sign of success or failure you accept that this is just a part of your everyday routine. I mean if I personally miss pee or poo myself, I’m not going to run around blaming it on regression – so why do have that standard for our little humans?

Things change in life, the weather, our hormones, our activity level but if we use every change to dictate our ability to succeed then we will never succeed.

When I teach consistency, regardless of whether your human is successful going into the toilet every day or every time, the success is measured by your ability to be consistent in giving them the same amount opportunities every day- indefinitely.

Just like exercising- you’re not going to see results in day, in a week, even in months, you probably will even fluctuate with your weight and body size and “regress”, (ugh gross word) but if you consistently put in a little bit of time…. everyday then OVER time you WILL see results and THAT is success.

Change your mindset. Success = consistency. Not only in toilet training but in life. #melbamethod

Follow me on instagram @melba_seto for more up to date posts!

Pregnancy Pilgrimage: The Hatchelorette Season 2, Part 1

Many of you may remember The Hatchelorette Part 1: Celebrating the Woman Who Was, Is and Will Be. A pregnancy road – trip I took with my first unborn child at 8 months pregnant. It was a way of closing a chapter in my life while celebrating the coming of a new one. The intention was to visit natural hot springs and celebrate myself and who I was as Human and Woman.

Now the tradition continues, the Pregnancy Pilgrimage in search of new hot springs but this time with my family unit. Again I am 8months pregnant and this time, I will have my 21month old Human and my life-partner to share this adventure with.

I am excited for this trip because it’s been a long time since we have travelled and travelling has always been a huge part of our lives. Being in different places, exploring foods and cultures and climbing destinations has been a way to constantly remind me how fortunate I am and how to be value the simple things in life.

Our plan is to do a multi day loop down to Montana, through to Idaho and up through British Columbia and back home. It won’t be a long trip as I want to be within a reasonable driving distance from Canada in case of any medical emergencies but nevertheless I am confident that one does not have to go far to reconnect with nature and themselves.

Our first stop will be Sand Coulee, Montana. A little town just outside of Great Falls Montana. This will be a resting point em route to our hot springs and hopefully give us a chance to find some nice disc golf courses to hit up and get some mileage in for my pregnant bones.

Last journey, I slept in the vehicle with my Dragon the Toilet Trained Cat: Week 4 and the most painful part were the nights of changing position and having my hips pop and settle and resettle. I’m happy to report this time, since there’s going to be my whole family unit with me, I have booked airBNB’s along the way to make the journey much more bearable!

This Carriage House Bed and Breakfast really hit the mark. Warm, cozy and lofty it made us wish we could stay longer to really enjoy the extras! We arrived pretty late, close to dinner time and it gave us enough time to settle in, relax and make some dinner. There were a great variety of books and board games for us to enjoy and to be honest after a long day of travelling we just looked forward to some rest.

Our breakfast consisted of a some amazing homemade eggs and pancakes with homemade jams, fresh blueberries, fresh squeezed orange juice and a side of sour cream with a brick of butter. We were pleasantly surprised by the amount of food and on top of this breakfast delight we were greeted by our hosts barrage of animals!

It was such a wonderful treat for our little human to experience morning on a Montana homestead! Horses, chickens, donkeys, kittens, puppies, roosters the whole she- bang made this a great kick off to our little family adventure.

We hit the road after breakfast, pooping and packing and took a little detour to check out Giant Springs Park in Great Falls which had a pretty amazing fish hatchery for us to check out.

With a full day ahead exploring natural hot springs we managed to just get on the road and make our way to Stevensville, a little hamlet just south of Missoula but a wonderful base camp for the next day.

Hopefully the weather holds and we’ll be able to hike in to a series of natural Hotsprings in Lolo National Forest where we will spend the morning & afternoon soaking old bones in nature’s mineral waters.

Momsolation. You May Be Lonely, But You’re Not Alone… Calling Out All #RadMums.

Being a new mother I never realized this whole culture that existed regarding the isolation a lot of moms feel. Even ones that used to be outdoorsy and active, once the first months of excitement of a new baby die down, they are overwhelmed with loneliness. Continue reading

5k A Day in 2014… Changed My Life

17 oct 2014 by Tim Nguyen Two Days before my first half marathon and 4 months from when I started running.

May 20, 2014, something happened that changed my life forever. I had been experiencing bright spots Continue reading

Melba’s 10 Second Baby Carrier

(Depending on your knot tying skills…) I’ve had a lot of comments and questions about where “I got” my baby carrier… the truth is, I made it myself using a couple of baby blankets. A couple months ago I found myself in a bind because I left my homemade baby wrap in the car so applying my first aid sling making skills I tied a triangular and made it into a quick carrier.

Continue reading

Never Too Old, or Pregnant… To Go Back To School.

Many of my followers know I am constantly trying new things in order to continue personal growth, and also so that I can hopefully inspire those around me that it’s never too late. It will be hard and unnerving as an adult but it’s never too late.

People think I am brave for trying new things but it’s actually the opposite quality that motivates me. It’s fear that drives me to not stay stagnant.

Continue reading

The Hatchelorette Day 4: Secret Hotsprings and Reflection Time.

My Hatchelorette road trip was designed with the intent to take some time for myself before my first Little Human arrived. I’m 8months pregnant, and I know that this will be the last time I get to travel by myself Continue reading

The Hatchelorette Day 3: Lesson 3 Take the Road Less Travelled.

Lesson 3: Take the Road Less Travelled

One of the most challenging things in life is experiencing disappointment. Often times we are faced with unforeseen obstacles, roadblocks and things that don’t quite go as planned.

. Continue reading

The Hatchelorette Day 1 : The Long Haul. Lesson 1 – Be Enduring.

Like most rites of passages there always requires a few challenges to overcome. For my Hatchelorette it’s the driving. Over the next 5 days I will endure over 3000km of open road as 8months of pregnancy hormones surge through me. My hips, pelvis, pubis and just everything have begun opening many months before and long stretches of sitting are no easy feat.

Continue reading

The Hatchelorette Part 1: Celebrating the Woman Who Was, Is and Will Be.

For as long as humans can remember, there has always been this reoccurring need to find oneself. To seek out our purpose, passion and identity. I have discovered from a young age that for myself the best way to learn and grow is to expose yourself to experiences that require you to solve things independently.

Continue reading