I dislike this word very much and avoid it as much as possible. (Yucky) The reason I don’t like the word “regression” because it’s a cop- out. It’s being able to use that word so you can give up and have an excuse to not have to work hard anymore to change things.
It’s kind of like when you try a new diet or work out program, you work hard for a few days or a month, then a holiday/ weekend comes along and everything goes down the drain. We blame it on the holiday/weekend for regressing.
This term is often thrown around a lot in the parenting world whenever little humans are no longer doing the thing you’ve gotten so used to them doing. Whether it be with food choices, nursing, toilet training, attitude.
So what do I do instead? Well I’ve recalibrated my mindset to think of the word “consistency” when striving for success. Rather than then the word “regression” which denotes failure.
I apply this to all new skills, habits and trends- when I’m introducing them- I begin with a mindset that this is something I plan to do indefinitely. I don’t set long term goals of what I HAVE to achieve by X time. (Ex. I would avoid saying “I’m going to Lose 10 lbs by spring” instead I say “I’m going to exercise 5minutes a day. Period.”)
Before you know it… the weight loss will come because you changed your mindset to accepting the 5min a day, is not just a part of regular routine. A way of life.
Now, how this applies to toilet training is that there’s always a point in toilet training where I get a lot of parents coming to me in a panic about “regression.” Parents come to me saying their humans are “regressing”, they used to go pee/ poo X many times a day on the toilet and now it’s been x many days since they haven’t.
Stop counting the “catches” and just continue to be consistent. The last couple weeks I’ve only “caught” a handful of poops in the toilet but it doesn’t phase me. I don’t blame it on “regression” or voodoo. It doesn’t and shouldn’t affect how successful I feel. Instead I take it as an opportunity to observe him better and take him more often or find a better suited time to take him. I adjust a little but still maintain consistency.
I teach people that instead of looking at each moment as a sign of success or failure you accept that this is just a part of your everyday routine. I mean if I personally miss pee or poo myself, I’m not going to run around blaming it on regression – so why do have that standard for our little humans?
Things change in life, the weather, our hormones, our activity level but if we use every change to dictate our ability to succeed then we will never succeed.
When I teach consistency, regardless of whether your human is successful going into the toilet every day or every time, the success is measured by your ability to be consistent in giving them the same amount opportunities every day- indefinitely.
Just like exercising- you’re not going to see results in day, in a week, even in months, you probably will even fluctuate with your weight and body size and “regress”, (ugh gross word) but if you consistently put in a little bit of time…. everyday then OVER time you WILL see results and THAT is success.
Change your mindset. Success = consistency. Not only in toilet training but in life. #melbamethod
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Travelling with little humans is not always easy but if you can manage to sneak away for a weekend you can maximize fun in a short amount of time!
Our little humans are 2.5 years old and 10months old and this weekends daytime temperatures were about -10 to -15 degrees C.
We left Calgary Friday afternoon in hopes to arrive at our friends Airbnb that evening to enjoy a meal, drinks and evening social with the families. Nestled around a fire and books it was a perfect way to set up for a quick weekend getaway.
1. Cross Country Ski Fernie Golf & Country Club.
After a hearty breakfast of homemade giant omelette, fruit and coffee we all geared up and headed to the Fernie Golf Course. Groomed and maintained by the Fernie Nordic Centre we were fortunate to enjoy a 3km loop around the course, experiencing mild terrain and amazing views! There was even a cleared pond for skating and hockey!
With 3 babies and 4 adults, it took about 2 hours with short breaks to adjust, enjoy the scenery going at a super easy pace.
If you have ski chariots for the kids you can pack everything you need and more for a full day of fun! We skied with our humans in back pack carriers and reconvened at the van for our traditional after adventure snacks and headed back to our lodgings for a hot lunch!
Parent tip: make sure you pack a lot of hot hand warmers (for little hands, feet and body, extra blankets and hot thermos of drinks and soup!)
2. Frozen Water Falls in CrowsNest pass
Lundbreck Falls is just 30min East of Crowsnest Pass and offers spectacular frozen waterfall views in the winter season.
We were pleasantly surprised to discover that this small detour on our way back home was actually just right off the main road. For families with small children it’s always a bonus to not have to trek too far to see incredible sights.
The area offers multiple viewing platforms to get the most out of the experience and it seems that there might be access to the bottom of the falls as well. It was quite windy when we stopped so it will have to be an adventure for another time!
Parent tip: finding sites and roadside attractions that are parking lot ready makes it a great way to learn and experience history and outdoors with the little humans while being able to hop back into a warm vehicle!
This was definitely a highlight of our trip! We won a mini photo session with Tara Hill Studios and was able to coordinate a mountain photo session with her while on our getaway!
Tara took us to a beautiful nook just between Fernie and Crowsnest pass where the Rocky Mountains and clear pebbly Elk river set the backdrop for our family photos.
Be prepared for mountain photos with little humans because you have to make magic happen in a short window of time, due to brisk temperatures and possible fan dangling of little adventurers.
Winter Family Photography Tips:
1. Talk to the photographer first about their plans before going outside!
We just did the roll down the window chat to see where she was going to shoot and what we were hoping to get out of the session as well as our plan of action for wardrobe change.
2. Have the vehicle warmed up.
Little humans can succumb to hypothermia and cold much quicker than adults so tule of thumb is.. if YOU’RE cold … they’ve already been cold for a while. (Basically recognize your cold limits BEFORE you reach them)
3. Have extra blankets, and a down or warm layer to be removed quickly for outdoor photos.
We started with out winter outdoor gear and underneath had our traditional Chinese clothes ready. Our little humans are used to the adventure lifestyle and even so we only managed to get a handful of shots in their traditional garb!
If you keep these few points in mind you’ll maximize your time with the photographer and keep everyone happy for the best photo experience!
Thanks again to Tara for her ninja skills and experience with winter photography to get these amazing shots in a matter of 10-15minutes!
There’s not many amazing mountain photographers out there with the skill to adapt and take family portraits in different settings, so I would definitely recommend booking a time to check out Tara Hill Studios if you’re in her neck of the woods!
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I read about Sisyphus Summits about 10 years ago when I started climbing consistently. The longest sport climb (600m+/2000ft+) North Of México, has been on my tick list since then.
However as the years wore on, the timing never seemed right, I didn’t have the right partner and it just taunted me every time I drove past it.
Finally the opportunity arose about a month and a half ago when a good friend of mine from BC had come to climb Sisyphus with another friend. When talking about my yearning, she instantly and happily said “I’ll do it again with you.” I remember tearing up thinking how wonderful this human was to even want to do a crazy project like this twice and with someone who just had two kids, knee surgery, and been barely climbing for the last two seasons.
I had to take this chance. Along comes this strong, competent, patient and supportive partner with the added bonus for being female! Something about climbing with another strong woman really brings on the stoke. Before we knew it we had planned the climb for Sept long weekend. Time of year is crucial for this project because you start the first 5 pitches in the sun and the rest in the shade with a potential 15-20 degree swing. Meaning you’re scorching in the heat and then freezing in the shade.
Gear. These are the things I packed.
– comfortable long day climbing shoes, harness, chalk.
– cell phone (there’s reception the whole way up- or else I would have brought a radio- can get windy for communications and when linking pitches.)
*Due to my baby brain and circumstances of being in skin foot pain for the majority of the climb my memory of each pitch is blurry. My biggest recommendation when deciding to do this route, climbers should be strong 11 climbers able to onsite low 11’s to be guaranteed success on this climb. The grades are pretty true to YDS grading and when working on such a long project, you have to factor in everything not just the ratings. You have to hike up- and down. You have to endure hot- and cold. You have to hang on belay stations for 20-40min at a time- many times. You have to due 21 pitches of mostly 10’s. It’s not just about climbing a bunch of easy/ moderate routes. It’s a long day, even for strong climbers.
Climbing profiles:
Jennine is a solid onsiting 11 climber with sends on low 12’s and projecting 13’s. Climbing 3-5days at week, pushing grades. She mountain bikes regularly and does a plethora of outdoor things. She’s a fucking badass.
Melba is a solid 10 onsiter with occasional 11 on sites and 12a sends, projects low 12’s. Her current training and fitness level includes moming a 5m old and 2 year old, disc golfing couple times a week, white water kayaking a few times this season and has climbed a handful of times this season- not ideal for preparing physically for Sisyphus but providing an example it’s possible from these two ranges of climbers.
Since I just had a new baby 5months ago I was still breastfeeding, and though I prepared a few bottles for my New Little Human I wanted to give him a big boost of boob before we left.
This meant we had to stay at home in Calgary and get up 1.5hrs earlier to do this and drive to the base of the climb (versus camping in Canmore and saving the hour drive.)
I also had a mini emotional moment the night before when putting my Big Little Human to bed. I told her I loved her so much and all the wonderful things I loved about her. I told her she was smart, kind and loving and thanked her for being such a good girl and thanked her for always being so helpful and trying so hard.
I find since having children… I fear death more. Not because of death itself… but the permanence of never seeing my spouse and Little Humans again. I fear that I won’t be there to raise them and do all the things I imagined my whole life doing.
The Morning of the Climb. Sept 5, 2020. (One day after my New Little Humans’ 5th month birthday. )
Having about 4hrs of sleep thus began our adventure….
We left at 03:30hrs and arrived at Grassi Lakes parking lot at 04:30hrs. Jennine offered to drive because she’s awesome and considerate of my “mom- fatigue”. It was still dark and we had buffered a little time to get ready, eat and hydrate. We loaded up and started hiking from the base of the trail just around 05:20hrs.
Going at a slow, “Melba pace” meaning 2/3rds the time of an average person we arrived at the base of the climb at 06:30hrs. We were instantly disappointed to see another party of two already working up the first pitch. I had seen another vehicle in the parking lot and hoped it was climbers on another climb or perhaps photographers or hikers trying to get the morning sunrise shot for the Gram.
Often times when multi pitching in the Rockies it’s not recommended to climb below another part due to having a lot of choss/ loose rock.
We took a beat, watched the sunrise and discussed our options and decided to continue with the climb.
Since there was another party in front of us, we had to climb the first few pitches switching single leads instead of linking them.
We were climbing around 06:50hrs Jennine started the first 10a traverse lead. With the first high bolt and uncertainty of the traverse and climb in general I didn’t want to psych myself out too soon. So happy she did that.
I came up second around 07:15hrs. So far, so good we met up at the anchors of the first pitch and reevaluating what to do regarding possibly passing the party ahead and when we would link and swing leads.
The first 10c/d pitches.
By the 7th pitch my heels were starting to really hurt from all the friction. I realized that this was something to consider for next time. TRAIN YOUR FEET SKIN!! Since I spent most of my summer mostly in flip flops and only climbing a few times, my heels and feet were soft rather than calloused which led to a very painful rest of the day.
Pumping Milk on a Multi Pitch
Partway up- I don’t quite remember what pitch – around 11:30 so maybe like pitch 7/8, my milk bags started ringing. Imagine the feeling of one of those deep settled pimples that never pops when you really want to pop it and it’s sore.
We needed to take a break to pump some milk to alleviate the pressure. Normally my 5m old needs every 2 hours and by this point it had been nearly 8hrs since I nursed. Milk is made based on demand so it was important to keep the milk flowing it doesn’t affect production when I get back to the little human.
I almost didn’t bring a pump because I was trying to save space and weight and intended to manually milk myself if needed – but that would have taken much longer and milk would have been everywhere. Which would have resulted in a cold, wet and wasp/ bait for myself. I also could have pumped probably 500ml with how much I’ve been producing but only pumped enough to alleviate some pressure from both sides.
Jennine was also very adamant that the first time she sent Sisyphus they ran out of water and it played a huge part in us staying extra hydrated this time. I told her I got it covered… we can always drink my milk…. hahahaha.
In the end this aspect of the climb I considered pretty magical. I’m not sure how many women can say they’ve pumped milk on the side of a sheer mountain face at 200M/600ft. I mean think of how many breast pumps have even been able to enjoy these views!
My favourite pic of the climb, P&P pumping and peeing.
I remember after enduring a couple more painful pitches finally saying to Jennine… “I don’t think I can lead the 10d’s anymore…I can’t stand up.” I stayed positive and thought perhaps I could lead the easier 10’s and 9’s, but as the day wore on so did my skin.
By the 12th pitch every small toe hold and step up on slap resulted in a cry of excruciating pain.
By pitch 17th literal tears with each step up. There was a couple sections with nice overhangs and underclings and laybacks but for the most part it was small feet or smearing, which was wonderful for those heels and toes.
It never occurred to me to bail the route. I just knew I had to find ways to mentally and physically deal with pain. Having Jennine as a partner was amazing because she knew even though I was being tortured, I was still having a good time – inside. And I knew she was strong enough and amazing enough to lead the rest of the climbs. I just had to keep going and in my head I knew if for some reason Jennine couldn’t do it I would step up (though I hoped it would not come to that.)
The Story of Sisyphus.
Greek mythology, Sisyphus was a trickster that tried to cheat death multiples times and manipulated the gods. His eventual punishment was to roll a huge boulder up a hill, upon before the gaining the summit it would roll down and kill him. Only to resurrect and repeat this for eternity.
My Mental Motivation.
I know that life happens and we don’t alway expect things to go the way we planned. To offset my physical limitations when achieving goals I regularly practice mental exercises to strengthen my mind.
In this case I knew raising two little kids, while doing life stuff and having difficulty finding climbing patterns willing to climb with kids with matching schedules… I didn’t have the time I needed to train. Ideally I would have climbed 10 climbs a day for 4 days a week for 2 months before this climb. I knew this wasn’t possible so all I did was imagine. I played scenarios in my mind of what I was capable of and what I would do if faced with certain problems.
One of my focuses was- quitting was not an option. Every climb was within my on-site grade, I’ve hiked more than 3 hours before, I’ve endured 10hrs+ of physical challenge before (not including labour). I’ve endured long belays in the blasting heat and freezing cold. I’ve endured dehydration and hunger. I’ve endured pain for more than hours at a time. Everything physically needed to complete this climb… I have done and overcome. Therefore there was no reason I would not finish this.
That was that. I focused on this reasoning when trialing mental for this project and when it was time… I Sisyphused the shit out of my feet and pushed that boulder to the top.
This is the second last pitch to the top of the climb. Dwayne managed to get a “smiling” photo of me but it’s actually a picture of a grimace. For the last 10 pitches the skin mom my heels were so raw every step was excruciating. I was throwing down some pretty neat arch smear, knee smear, mantle moves … anything to not use my heels or toes.
I lead the final slab pitch to the top. In pain, to the very last move. I joked about bailing the route and coming back another day. I waved at hikers dangerously taking selfies at the ridge and I kept rolling the god damned boulder.
We did it! I summited at approximately 17:00hrs making it roughly a 10hr project from base to peak and 18hrs from door to door. (Yes it took me 2 hrs to hike down Ha Ling) omg my knees.
Thank you to amazing friend – pretty much family – Dwayne for hiking to the top and rappelling down to cheer us on and take photos. And also carry most of my gear down!
I was so exhausted hiking down my legs were shaking and I felt like a zombie. I just needed to sit was all I could think. Had a moment to lay down while dwayne got the shuttle vehicle… nap time.
To Jennine, thank you for being so amazing, inspiring, strong and just a funtastic human that I was so privileged to share this tick with. Love you so much for enduring me and doing this again!
People are often terrified at the though of being naked. Something about sharing such an intimate and private part of yourself, that often times those Continue reading →
Many of you may remember The Hatchelorette Part 1: Celebrating the Woman Who Was, Is and Will Be. A pregnancy road – trip I took with my first unborn child at 8 months pregnant. It was a way of closing a chapter in my life while celebrating the coming of a new one. The intention was to visit natural hot springs and celebrate myself and who I was as Human and Woman.
Now the tradition continues, the Pregnancy Pilgrimage in search of new hot springs but this time with my family unit. Again I am 8months pregnant and this time, I will have my 21month old Human and my life-partner to share this adventure with.
I am excited for this trip because it’s been a long time since we have travelled and travelling has always been a huge part of our lives. Being in different places, exploring foods and cultures and climbing destinations has been a way to constantly remind me how fortunate I am and how to be value the simple things in life.
Our plan is to do a multi day loop down to Montana, through to Idaho and up through British Columbia and back home. It won’t be a long trip as I want to be within a reasonable driving distance from Canada in case of any medical emergencies but nevertheless I am confident that one does not have to go far to reconnect with nature and themselves.
Our first stop will be Sand Coulee, Montana. A little town just outside of Great Falls Montana. This will be a resting point em route to our hot springs and hopefully give us a chance to find some nice disc golf courses to hit up and get some mileage in for my pregnant bones.
Last journey, I slept in the vehicle with my Dragon the Toilet Trained Cat: Week 4 and the most painful part were the nights of changing position and having my hips pop and settle and resettle. I’m happy to report this time, since there’s going to be my whole family unit with me, I have booked airBNB’s along the way to make the journey much more bearable!
This Carriage House Bed and Breakfast really hit the mark. Warm, cozy and lofty it made us wish we could stay longer to really enjoy the extras! We arrived pretty late, close to dinner time and it gave us enough time to settle in, relax and make some dinner. There were a great variety of books and board games for us to enjoy and to be honest after a long day of travelling we just looked forward to some rest.
Our breakfast consisted of a some amazing homemade eggs and pancakes with homemade jams, fresh blueberries, fresh squeezed orange juice and a side of sour cream with a brick of butter. We were pleasantly surprised by the amount of food and on top of this breakfast delight we were greeted by our hosts barrage of animals!
It was such a wonderful treat for our little human to experience morning on a Montana homestead! Horses, chickens, donkeys, kittens, puppies, roosters the whole she- bang made this a great kick off to our little family adventure.
We hit the road after breakfast, pooping and packing and took a little detour to check out Giant Springs Park in Great Falls which had a pretty amazing fish hatchery for us to check out.
With a full day ahead exploring natural hot springs we managed to just get on the road and make our way to Stevensville, a little hamlet just south of Missoula but a wonderful base camp for the next day.
Hopefully the weather holds and we’ll be able to hike in to a series of natural Hotsprings in Lolo National Forest where we will spend the morning & afternoon soaking old bones in nature’s mineral waters.
There’s been a lot of girl power stuff going around these days and I was really inspired by the whole ” —– like a girl,” movement.
My whole life it always seemed like such a negative to be a girl. “You throw like a girl,” “you cry like a girl,” “you play like a girl.” Like what does that even mean? I was always one to play as hard, throw as far and run as fast as most boys in my school days and yet it was always the worst insult when someone said ” you *blank* like a girl.”
Well you know what? I’m taking it back and making it a positive! Damn right I *blank* like a girl, because girls are unstoppable now.
This is why when komfibaby approached me about making a custom shirt for Basia, it didn’t take long for me to decide on “Climb Like Basia.” It doesn’t mean she has to become a climber someday or even like climbing, but hopefully it will inspire those that doing things “like a girl,” is actually the best compliment.
Not only that, but I requested that her name be spelled in American Sign Language (ASL), because deaf culture needs more credit!
I hope that at the minimum it sparks conversation and intrigue to learn what those letters spell and at the best open the world to climbing as well as ASL!
“Mellie – Mel!!” That’s what Gerrick used to always call me. Nevermore. I found out yesterday that one of my longest calgary friends passed away suddenly.
Gerrick Winston and I used to work together at the Talisman centre. I would lifeguard, he would coach diving. On our breaks we would seek out the acoustics in the rec centre corridors or the lifeguard break room.
I remember singing Simply Red “If you don’t know me by now.”
He was the reason why I wanted to learn how to dive and last year the month before I blew my ACL Gerrick took the time to coach me for my first dive competition.
He was bright eyed and bushy tailed and loved his wife and kids so much. He had the most beautiful voice, most precise and focused way of teaching that was fun yet impactful which no doubt contributed to his success.
My heart grieves for the loss of an amazing human and a man that made the world a better place.
Being a new mother I never realized this whole culture that existed regarding the isolation a lot of moms feel. Even ones that used to be outdoorsy and active, once the first months of excitement of a new baby die down, they are overwhelmed with loneliness. Continue reading →
There’s been a lot of girl power stuff going around these days and I was really inspired by the whole ” —– like a girl,” movement.
