Lately I’ve been incredibly elated knowing that my circle of people are so amazing. I have the best people in my life. People that give it their all and constantly challenge themselves to grow.
I strongly believe that you get back in life what you put in. The more you put in the more you get back. Just like farming and investments. I am going to show you how I farm awesome people, which in turn is an investment in myself.
The last decade I’ve been carefully planting the seeds of awesomeness and it’s been paying back tenfold these past couple years. How did I do this? Well by surrounding myself with people that try.
It sounds simple enough, but it’s rather quite difficult in the beginning.
Step One. Assess the Old Crops.
Take a moment and tally up your friends and acquaintances. With each of them think about where there were when you met them, what they were doing and where they are now.
It’s like looking at an investment or crop. Did the stocks go up? Did the yield increase? Or is the same, perhaps worse. Are the people you know still doing the same thing they did 10, 5, even 2 years ago? Can you predict exactly what they would be doing on a Saturday night, or Wednesday evening?
You will probably be surprised to see how many bad Seeds their are.
Step Two. Sort the Seeds into 4 Categories.
Now that you have a loose idea of what kind of Seeds you have, start grouping them into these categories.
1. Prized Bulls.
2. Potential For Growth.
4.Bad For Business.
1. Prized Bulls: these are the people that have grown since the day you met them. Every week, month or year they have advanced either intellectually, phycially or emotionally. These are the people that are going or have gone back to school. Learned a new skill, sport or art. People that have travelled or increased their income.
They never stand you up and are the ones that show up to events and dates when you ask them. They call ahead to cancel or reschedule. They are genuinely happy, stable people. These people are doers. They are people you want to be. Keep these seeds. Plant these in your life and acquire more.
2. Potential for Growth: these are the people that you’ve known for less than 2 years. They talk of doing all the things and wanting to try things. They have photos of some travel, at least to English speaking locations and definitely all inclusive resorts.
They may have tried to play in a sports league a couple times, like soccer, volleyball or softball. They get excited when you tell them of your adventures and always ask to come along. Half the time they cancel short notice or they never actually call to do things.
You are attracted to their eagerness and you find them positive and energetic. These people are dreamers and wanters. You like these people a lot because they seem similar to a Prized Bull. Keep an eye on these Seeds. Give them one more year to step up the yield and growth. If by next year they do not become a Prized Bull and move down to a Wild Card then it’s time to let them go.
3. Wild Cards: this is the hard part. These are the people that have done the same thing their whole life. They’ve completed the stages of the game of life and have plateaued.
They maybe played a team sport during school or was a member of a school club, but as an adult they don’t really participate in much anymore. They had moderate to good marks. Attended post secondary of some sort. May or may not have finished. Found a partner. May or may not have kids.
They seem happy or kind of indifferent. These are the ones that say they “would/could never do the things” a Prized Bull would do. They may have travelled to all inclusive resorts or even don’t like to go anywhere at all.
These are the ones that always decline invitations to events or show up just to leave early. These people you can predict what they are doing most nights of the week. They have not changed intellectually, emotionally or phycially since you met them. Except maybe gained some weight.
These seeds are not good. You feel like you want to help them and give them another chance. At this point it’s up to them to grow on their own and you can’t help them. It’s time to let them go or put them in storage.
These Seeds are called Wild Cards, because they are the ones that one day flip their life situation in an instant. They realize they are unhappy and suddenly might start working out like crazy and run a marathon. Or they suddenly divorce and become a different seed. Or they regress even more. Either way, these are not good Seeds for Farming Awesome. They may one day wake up and change but at this point let them go.
4. Bad For Business. These are bad Seeds. They are like wild cards minus the Wild part. You must determine which are the bad Seeds and eliminate them as soon as possible. These Seeds can ruin your entire Farm of Awesomeness.
These are people that bring you down. They are always negative. They have definitely digressed phycially (weight gain or emaciated). They are negative in the way that they have to bring down everything you say.
You feel like you’ve given them so many chances and tried so hard to help them. You feel bad because you may be their only friend. These are the people that you know for sure what they are doing any day of the week. Gaming, TV, shopping. They love watching dramatic reality TV shows.
They are unreliable and cancel or don’t show up to events. If you have something exciting to tell them they shoot it down or try to one up you.
These are bad Seeds. You cannot help them. They have to grow on their own. Stop saying sweet nothings to them in hopes they will grow. If you want to Farm Awesome and invest in an awesome healthy future for yourself, you must cut these Seeds from your life.
Step 3. Nuture the Good Avoid the Bad.
Now that you’ve categorized your Seeds, how do you move forward? You think “I can’t just cut people out of my life. I’ve known these people forever. ”
This is true, it’s not easy to just eliminate the Wild Card Seeds, the Bad For Business Seeds and even the Potential For Growth Seeds for when they become less stable. This is how you do it.
Just like farming, what you do is, start planting the Prized Bulls near the best spot. This spot is right next to you, actually around you. Make a circle! Surround yourself with Prized Bulls and keep them close.
Contact them often and show up when they invite you to do things. If you can’t attend then make sure you give as much notice as possible, or else they will stop inviting you.
Prized Bulls are special and must be treated as such, because remember to them you are the Potential for Growth, maybe even a Wild Card Seed. If you don’t show consistency and stability those Bulls will eventually leave you.
Now, plant the Potential for Growth people in the next circle. Watch them but it’s mostly up to them to move into the next ring. You need to stop trying to drag these people out and make them better.
My rule is, if they can cancel on me three times in a row, I don’t invite them to things anymore. Next time it’s up to them to contact me and show up. If they show up and if they can prove to me three times in a row they are commited and reliable, then the relationship is worth maintaining. I do not make first contact until the relationship is balanced again. If they never call you back then that solves your problem for you.
This is where a lot of people get stuck. They lose confidence in themselves and reach out to the Wild Card, Bad for Business and Potential for a Growth Seeds, in hopes of saving them one last time. Or they feel guilty for not calling their friend. At this point it’s up to you to make that decision to wean yourself off. Don’t make first contact if they are going to grow they have to come to you.
To some this sounds harsh but really it’s a pretty reasonable course of action. Relationships are two way streets. If you want to Farm Awesome there is give and take on both sides.
Farming Awesome is not easy. Like I said in the beginning, it took me over a decade to wean out the Bad for Business Seeds and Wild Card Seeds. Even as life goes on you keep getting these Seeds floating into your field and you have to start the process with each of them.
The good news is, that after all these years I started with one or maybe no Prize Bulls and now I’m surrounded by tonnes. This makes eliminating the other Seeds so much easier. It’s taken years but once you start planting these amazing Prize Bulls around you, they multiply. They are contagious. If you can start farming these kinds of people I promise you, you will be reaping an awesome life in no time.
Beware though. Keeping those other seeds around will also be contagious and multiply. You decide what kind of farm you want.
Keep following Www.MelbasToast.com for more inspiration on how to improve your life and learn that you can be awesome too.